Gotcha Day... January 30th 2012

January 30th 2012

The Song That describes All of our Waiting

I was fine right up until it was time to leave. My heart started racing and I felt so overwhelmed. As David put it..... The baby was crowning after almost 6 years of gestation. A 2 1/2 year old little girl who God chose for us, we were about to meet for the first time. Even though I had gone over this day a million times in my head and had even experienced it previously with Gracyn, nothing could stop the negative thoughts and apprehension I was feeling. Is that what pregnant women go through? Telling God..".No, I'm not ready for this.... can we just go back to BEFORE?" As if you can stop the forward momentum of the high speed train of labor or reverse the clock of time. It was already in motion and there was no turning back. Everything in the last years and months had led us up to this special day, but I wanted to go back. I felt like I was suffocating and if had the chance would have taken the next plane home with my family in tow. Why? It all comes down to not being able to see what lies ahead. But in that moment my faith fizzled out like a wet firecracker. Why? I can't explain why it did, but I could not help but wonder, was this really our dauhter? I mean when your pregnant, he or she is yours. You carry them and feel them, knowing they are growing deep inside. The moorings of their being only to be released at just the right moment. The moment you knew God had prepared for you. You feel every movement and hear their heartbeat. You see their hands and feet with each new sonogram and you feel as though you could hear them speaking to you words of love. There's no doubt that you must feel something like.....Wow, how wonderful God is to allow me to feel such a bond, an undeniable feeling of His hand in the orchestration of the life growing inside you. It's your proof.....it just seems like it would be so easy to fall in love when love is woven within your body, one strand at a time into a little baby.

So there in that moment of "crowning" I felt lost, and unsure of God's timing, His presence, His choosing of me. They say Faith is believing in something you can't prove is really there until after the miracles have occurred. I think that's why God made miracles...to prove to those with little faith like me at that moment, that there is no other reason other than Gods very own hand in special miraculous blessings in life. Because there was no doubt, I was not in labor or had felt the awe of a child grow inside me. There was no doubt that people around me friends, family, and other would want to know why I wanted to adopt this little girl at 2 1/2 years of age. It seems unnatural and strange. And nothing at all like those who experience the blessing of childbirth. Because my faith became muddied in the circumstance, I denied myself the "leap" as they say. I ran the opposite direction in the moments of time stretched out in front of me. But as the door opened into the Civil Affairs Office, on Monday morning, I saw the profile of her face. My heart knew it was her all the way from the door. She was an "Empress in red." My faith was lost for minutes to hours, but was recaptured in a fraction of a second when God chose to "push" me because I failed to" leap." Just like that my faith returned. I'm so thankful of His almighty reminders in life. Yes, I may not have carried Jadyn within my body, but I dreamed and prayed for her, just like Gracyn, every moment that I waited for Gods answered prayers. So life all changed in a matter of seconds.


The day seemed so perfect. The girls had an instant bond. So very sweet together. Like they had been waiting on one another all along. They held hands, kissed, hugged, played.....All was well in the world until bedtime. Poor Jadyn, the language we do not speak, the questions we can't answer all became overwhelming at bedtime. Bedtime....was all but three hours for all of us:(. Jadyn screamed hysterically, which I had been prepared for. She looked around our hotel, as if to say, "where am I, and who are you people?" One word she knew though even in the hysteria, and that word was "Momma."  She screamed and cried and latched on to me with dear life. While Gracyn cried and cried, wanting to know why we didn't love her anymore. She even asked, "when can we take her back to her orphanage, cause I want to go home." Poor babies were fighting over my affection all night long. Gracyn, cried real tears of grief because now she had to share the love from Mommy & Daddy and she too, wanted to go back to before. With three ours of sleep after all of us had shed many tears, a new sunrise would bring a new day. Another day for Jadyn to learn to trust us, & to realize she is safe in our family.

Gotcha Day Video.  The 1st Kiddo of the Day!



Jadyn Willow XinXiang Lyon



Oh what a sweet face

One Happy Family

Happy on the bus ride.

Daddy will bribe you with Panda Bear...

One day at a time, sometimes turns to one minute at a time, but each day we know it will get easier and easier for all of us.

Love,

The Lyon Family