SEE....... February 1st 2012

February 1^st 2012

Jadyn woke up three times during the night.  She woke up delirious and confused, crying for "Momma."  I found it just amazing that in less than 48 hours she found comfort in calling me just that...momma, and my face brought some sense of calm during her night of many terrors.  She was so confused each time she woke up.  Just like I was when we arrived in Beijing.  I woke up half a dozen times myself, wondering where I was.  So I cannot even imagine what she must be going through.  Oh she cried so much.  Her poor broken, little heart, was trying to make sense of all the things that just weren’t quite right.  When she and Gracyn woke up around 7:15 am she had a smile on her face and was ready to conquer yet another day. 


Little did Jadyn know Mommy would be gone for most of the day to visit MBHOH, otherwise known as Maria’s Big House of Hope.   I didn’t want to bring the girls. First it was a two hour drive one way.   Second with our entire family in the van, it would have been very uncomfortable.  So at 9:00am I went alone with two other families. David, Carolyn and their little 20-month old Hutch and their new adopted daughter Sophie, who might I add is just precious! They were from a town right outside of Dallas.  David was a Pediatrician and Carolyn a Physical therapist.  The other family, was Steve and Becky with their new little boy who was 2 ½ Cooper.  Steve was a Vet and Becky was an ER Nurse.  They were from a town right outside of Nashville.  Oh that little Cooper was having a time.  He really wasn’t talking much, and wouldn’t have much to do with Steve up until that point.  He was adorable.  Spiked Mohawk hair was definably perfect for his personality.  Stoic tough little man was his game, and no matter what.... he would not bust out a smile.  I tried though. 

The Scenic Drive to Luoyang

I thought about MBHOH, on the nice drive, and about how I had always wanted to volunteer there as a nurse before we adopted Gracyn.  I couldn’t quite imagine what the Chapman family had gone through with the death of Maria, but I also couldn’t imagine all the lives that would not have been the same if not touched, changed,  or saved by Marias death.  How so much good had come from something so tragic within their family.  It reminded me of the song Steven Curtis Chapman wrote called “Beauty Will Rise.”  Beauty did rise from the ashes of her death, and little did I know that my own daughters journey and life had been touched by Maria and the Chapman family. 

Maria's Big House of Hope....

Entering MBHOH

Roots of Hope





Maria on the Right....The Face and Life of an Angel.

Beauty Will Rise - Steven Curtis Chapman



As we entered into the CWI in Luoyang I was overwhelmed by the obedience and calling of all the volunteers that greeted us at the door.  The head nurses name was Mariah, and what a small world to find out she was from Beaufort SC.  I mean what are the odds.  She had only been home once in over a year and a half.  Then we met Mike the director, who not only ran Show Hope, he also ran the other three homes in China sponsored and partnered with New Hope.  Of course as soon as he told me that, I knew I was going to ask him a million questions, not even knowing if my P.I. skills would get me any answers that would help put the missing pieces back together of Jadyns puzzle.  I told him Jadyn was at New Hope in Beijing and because Jadyn would have to travel several days prior to Gotcha Day to her "founding" Orphanage it was impossible for us to visit as she was already in Zhengzhou :(.  It broke my heart that we were not able to visit the orphanage.  To my astonishment and pure jaw dropping surprise, I found out, not only did Mike our Tour guide at MBHOH Know my Dang Xin Xiang, he knew that prior to her going to New Hope in Beijing she most likely was somehow linked to Maria’s Big House of Hope and Luoyang.  He knew the connection after I questioned him about all the babies whose names were on the outside of the door - Most of which had the same surname as our Jadyn..Dang.  So in that moment it no longer was a dwelling which helped thousands of orphans in China, it was now a place where our daughter was most likely saved.  I got a bit emotional as a rush of pure joy filled my heart and I realized how God placed me there at that very moment.  That it was no accident I was just where God had planned for me to be.  How I almost didn’t even go because David was having such a difficult time with Jadyn when I was gone.  But God made sure I would be there, when the director Mike could be at any of the four locations at any given time, but he stood before me - to give me the few missing puzzle pieces I would later give our daughter.  Later Mike and I exchanged emails and he assured me he would get me any and all medical files and any contacts of those who cared for Jadyn at New Hope.  It was more than I could have asked for in one day.  God answered a prayer that I have prayed countless times since our referral.  So after the amazing tour of Maria’s Big House of Hope, which I cannot explain in words how it made me feel, I glanced at the two murals on the wall and they both had very different meaning to me on my way out. 

I was instantly reminded of the verse…  "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7 NIV). 

The illustration by Maria called “See” became symbolic in more ways than I will ever be able to explain.in my own words.......


Seek and I would See…I asked and I could never have dreamed the door would be found, let alone opened.  Thanking Him for blessing me with answers and prayers of a mothers heart.